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The Truth Global Warming

WHAT YOU ARE TOLD

​Global warming is the rise in the average temperature of Earth's atmosphere and oceans since the late 19th century and its projected continuation. Since the early 20th century, Earth's mean surface temperature has increased by about 0.8 °C (1.4 °F), with about two-thirds of the increase occurring since 1980. Warming of the climate system is unequivocal, and scientists are more than 90% certain that it is primarily caused by increasing concentrations of greenhouse gases produced by human activities such as the burning of fossil fuels and deforestation. These findings are recognized by the national science academies of all major industrialized nations.

Yes, it is true. Global Warming is happening. There is absolutely nothing we can do about it. We are all screwed. We are all gonna die in a soupy sea water broth, filled with sharks and octopuses.

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But... The scientists have it wrong. All the theories proposed are incorrect or just half way there.

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It's okay. Calm down. I know. It's something to worry about. I know what you mean. HOW COULD OUR TRUSTED SCIENTISTS BE WRONG!?!

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Wassat? You're more worried about the whole death by sharky, octopussy, sea watery soup? I guess that's fair enough. I guess you DON'T need to know the secret agenda of the Scientific Exemption Marketing Exclusion Initiative, Also knows as the SEXME Initiative.

Heralded as the greatest living minds of August 1948 and know for their love of smoking pipes, Fredrikson and Polenta were constantly in the public eye. Such discoveries as the fuzzy particle and the seagull brought worldwide fame to the two men respectively.

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THE TRUTH

THE SEXME INITIATIVE

So right now you are probably thinking to yourself, "C'mon, really? How would we the people, be totally unaware of this oddly acronymed, not-quite-making-sense named, so called initiative? I'm going back to worrying about drowning in the sharktopus seawater."

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That's okay you don't know any better, and I'm prepared to forgive your ignorance, as it is my job to inform you of the truth. Let me start by filling you in on the history of SEXME.​

Pictured above is the SEXME headquarters. Founded in 1952 by Stuart Fredrikson and James Polenta, both experts in all things scientific, SEXME became an, until now, secret organisation of scientists, whose goal is to convince the general populace of whatever they see fit.

​​The men of science did not die. They ran away together. They didn't run away together out of love. They didn't run away out of anger. They ran away to form a secret scientific society, that would later become bastardised into an unknown worldwide deceit machine.

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The SEXME Initiative started out as an organisation devoted to scientific advances and breakthroughs.

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After the accidental deaths of both Fredrikson and Polenta, in a freak furniture lacquering experiment, the views and perceptions of the duo were grossly skewed into that of what SEMXE became; a government persuading secret group based on coverups, lies and half truths, not designed to protect the public, but to protect the Initiative itself.

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But I digress. This article is meant to focus on The Truth About Global Warming. Let's take a look shall we?

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The Rising Temperature

​​The initial causes or influences of climate change include such things as radiative forcing, solar luminosity, volcanic eruptions and variations in the Earth's orbit. Many would wrongfully assume that a change in the Earth's orbit would lead to a modern day Ice Age, but all data collected indicate that of rising temperatures.

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These are the lies we force fed. Along with stories about the burning of fossil fuels, over population, increased animal farming and excessive carbon emissions it paints a relatively believable picture of what the causes of climate change are.​

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But no.

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These are not the causes of climate change and the overheating of our earth and rising of the sea levels.

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"So," you ask, "what IS the cause of the aforementioned issues?"

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Well, it's good to see that you are skeptical of what you have been told, so let me continue.

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The Earths Core

​​The temperature of the center of the Earth is heating up. The molten lava core is building up to an unsustainable pressure. Imagine if you will, a small spherical chocolate treat. With an outer layer of chocolate and nuts, covering a thin wafer with a hazelnut cream and whole hazelnut center. Let's call it a Rerrero Focher.

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To help illustrate what is happening to the Earth's core, I shall compare the two.

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​​The nutty exterior of the Earth's crust is covered in chopped hazelnut volcanoes. As you know, volcanoes are designed to erupt. The ejaculation of the liquid hot magma relieves the internal pressure and heating of Earth.

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This is where SEXME comes into it. SEXME has blocked multiple volcanoes across the globe. With less magma spewing out of the center of the earth, it is causing the Earth's outer core of hazelnut cream to turn into the same solid nut/liquid magma as the inner core. More magma with less relief from volcanic eruptions is causing the temperature to rise.

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Due to increased inner temperatures, the mantle and outer mantle is heating, causing more natural radiation at the Earth's extremities. IE. The polar caps.

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This increased radiation has cause the native Polar Bears of the arctic to mutate. The mutations noted are increased body temperature and laser eyesight. Due to no ill will or self control of their own, the Polar Bears are melting the North Pole.

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​​So. The truth is that global warming is happening, but not due to the causes we once thought. What can we do to stop it? Do we cull the Polar Bears? Do we relocate them? Do we fit them with Cyclops from X-men style safety glasses? Do we unplug the volcanoes?

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No.

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We must expose and stop the SEXME Initiative.​

The Fuzzy Particle
The Seagull

The Fuzzy Particle

The Seagull

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